Sooooooo...........this is a true story. 100% true. Prepare yourself.........grab a tissue...........you might cry.
A few days ago I ran into a store, chatted up a frenzy with an old friend who worked there and then left. Early the next morning I had to return to that same store to get some stuff that I had placed on order. The woman who checked me out said, "I can't believe we went to high school together."
Me in my cute, happy voice said, "I thought you looked familiar........." (really I was just being nice.......I didn't know her from Adam).
Then she said, "I JUST can't believe it........I mean when I asked Sheri who you were, I was like NO WAY!"
I smiled at her, (which I wish I could take back) Because then she said, "I just can't believe we went to high school together, YOU look sooooo OLD!!"
At this point I let out a half hearted chuckle which was really awkward because in my head I laced it with a swear word. I could have forgiven her except she went on to say," I mean look at me here I am still a baby face and look at you........you look so OLD!" She said that same sentence in about ten different versions. After about the tenth I grabbed my walker and left the store.
True story. Are you crying yet? I wanted to.......Baby face my ace!
This experience also brought to the surface another one I had in college at Utah State. I worked with a great group of girls scanning and checking trucker's logs into a database system (sounds exciting doesn't it?). One day as I was leaving for the weekend one of the girls there said that I always looked like a kangaroo to her. I was like........?.............. Then another girl piped in and said, "I have thought that same thing!" I was like....................WHAT?.............................I smiled and said, "Nobody looks like a kangaroo". They just kept saying it over and over. I stayed really calm and poised and when they were done with their theories on why I resembled a kangaroo, I said to the first girl, "that is funny you think I look like a kangaroo.........Because you have always looked like a pig to me." It shut her right up. To this day it has been my best come back line ever. I wish I would've had one for 'ol baby face when I was standing in front of her.
****(I just want you to know that a few of my post will eventually self-destruct once my children get to the age where they actually read this blog. And should I die before they self-destruct I want them destroyed so they will remember me for baking cookies and singing lullabies and not for swearing and flipping people off).
Cross-stitch
8 years ago
13 comments:
Holy $**^%$%! WHO says that to someone? You do not look old or like a kangaroo! I hate those moments when I can't think of something really witty (and slightly rude) to someone. If it makes you feel any better, I had a guy tell me this week I was the most homely woman he had ever seen. Major self esteem blow.
Kangaroo?? Let me think on that for a second. Hmmmmmm.
Kangaroo: known to be a very nurturing mother, survives in the harshest of climates, adapts well to its surrounding (its amazing what I learned on Wikipedia today!), keeps it young close to her and protected, Very fast and powerful, always moving and alert. Yeah.. I am afraid I do see some kangaroo in you Kelli.
p.s. Feel free to use my favorite comment when in situations like those. "You have always impressed me...really.... i mean, you dont sweat much for a person of your size." or my 2nd favorite "So, have you always had that severe overbite?"
I think breaking out the bird would have been an appropriate course of action for her.
take me with you next time, they will think your my daughter ;)
Oh my heck! That is so rude and so not true!! You are adorable! I am sure it was the green jealous beast talking!! You should have said... yes, well some of us have matured on every level since high school, I am sorry you haven't!!
I am laughing so hard right now.....Sheri, that was a funny come back! Keli, I have a little song that I have taught my kids to say if someone is rude to them at school. Now imagine a sassy, African american women saying this with her finger pointing to the offender....."Don't look at me like yo mamma don't feeeeeeeeed you cause by the looks of it she does" Btw, your pig come back was AWESOME!!!!!
Oh Kelli!!! Truly good friends you have that read your blog. Any one of us would have beaten her down if you took us with you!!! Sheesh! And Ross is right, you fit the definition of Kangaroo.... but I don't see the physical resemblance.. oh well! :) I love you!!
That is horrid!!! I can't believe someone would say that...and you are so not old or even look old. But, it is kinda funny...just that someone would say that...who even does that???? and kangaroo??? that's hilarious...and wrong on so many levels. you know i think you're lovely and beautiful!!!
Kelli... I am laughing so hard I am crying right now. I SO want to know who this baby face is... please email me. To funny! I have never heard the Kangaroo story either... Kelli... you look fabulous and younger than ever!
Kelli... I am laughing so hard I am crying right now. I SO want to know who this baby face is... please email me if you looked her up. To funny! I have never heard the Kangaroo story either... Kelli... you look fabulous and younger than ever!
Wow that is rude! I have always personally thought that you looked like an adorable possum. But not as hairy. A kangaroo?! Please! Get your animals straight.
So does KK stand for Kangaroo Kelli. Way too funny. The universal comeback and I'm scratching my head why you didn't say it is: eff you. LOL ^^^^^^^^^^^^
Okay so here's the silver lining in all of the bull $&@! You are an old kangaroo, which really is an accomplishment. In the outback, those babies are hunted, run over, and eaten before they get to become old, so....
(he he he, sorry, I had to do it, that was the best laugh I've had since my last blind date)
p.s. my verification word is Bindi, like the crocodile hunters kid. hahahahahha
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