Our elementary has seen it's share of the swine flu this year. We haven't gotten it in the Booth Household thanks to a number of factors namely....
Our daily, "swine flu" lecture that the boys get as they leave for school. It is quite simple..........it goes like this......"Do not touch anything!!" Another factor in our defense against the swine is bottles of hand sanitizers attached to caribeeners that attach to their backpacks. (side note: bottles of hand sanitizers hanging from your backpack that hit your legs when you walk.....does nothing for the cool factor.) And finally, before tonight I strongly believed that my obedient children were also a key factor in helping our home evade the flu. I thought they were listening soo carefully when I would say, "Don't touch anything. But, in case you do every ten minutes use that hand sanitizer. Don't come home until your hands are all dried out and cracked. If it cracks and bleeds from over using the hand sanitizer you will get a special treat!!
Well............life comes at you fast. We had Parent Teacher Conferences at the elementary school tonight. As we entered the petri dish/building I gave my boys the usual "Swine Flu Lecture" of ............"DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING!" I said it in my stern voice along with my serious eyes to add some drama to the importance of my message. It took about two minutes into Zach's PT conference before he started to rub the top of the kindergarten table with the palm of his hands. I am pretty sure he touched every inch of that table top........all I could think was............"if I was a swine flu germ this table would be a great place to hang out!" In the essence of time I won't mention how many germ infested toys Tanno manhandled during the fifteen minutes spent in the kindergarten room. (by the way Zach passed with flying colors in his PT conference, but I give him an F in his listening skills and recollection of SWINE FLU Etiquette). We headed over to Carver's classroom next. During the presentation of his schoolwork Taylor thought that it would be fun to walk around all the desks and touch the top of each one. I was about to give him my serious eyes and say in my serious voice,"TAYLOR.....remember what we talked about, but right then I noticed Nanner was licking the turtle aquarium in the corner of the classroom. A conflict began to rage in my head: IN my sweet voice......."honey dear.......uh please stop licking the turtles home......they don't need to see what your tongue looks like sweetie." that was quickly drowned out by my Swear in my Head voice, "TANNER JAMES BOOTH IF YOU DON"T GET YOUR TONGUE OFF OF THE TURTLES HOUSE I AM GOING TO BEAT THE BLEEP BLEEP OUT OF YOU!" That is when I turned to Carver's teacher and said, in my cute voice, "Oh how fun to have turtles in your class! What Joy!" But, that was just a cover so she couldn't hear the swearing.
We proceed onto Taylor's classroom where every desk was touched, every surface licked and every germ was invited to a party at our house. In my haste to exit the premises, I left somewhere in that school all my children's folders and school work. Thus if you happen to be at the school and see it, pick it up, but please don't' drop it off, as to the fact that we are planning on having the swine flu this weekend.
